Delta Session
by Obvious Ghost
Summary: A different side of SBURB. New kids, new made-up words, new bad guys. Not necessarily in that order.


Because trying to update four stories in one day cannot possibly backfire in any way.

Here it is. The big one. This is going to test my ability to write original characters, my ability to write tension and danger, to actually be funny... everything. I'm so excited about this one, let me tell you.

At first, I planned to follow a few kids living through the end-of-the-world scenario at the beginning of Homestuck. That eventually morphed into, 'What if people got roped into the game without knowing any of the rules, or backstory, or helpful Nannas, or anything?' But even that just became another session. Just different kids, playing a different facet of SBURB. I'm having the time of my life just making up dumb names for stuff, so we'll see how well that works out.

For everyone's sake, typing quirks will be ridiculously simple. I want it to be really obvious who's talking, since we don't have the benefit of colored text like the actual Homestuck does.

If you guys like it, leave a review and stuff. If you don't, leave one anyway and I'll try to do better. Hope you have fun!

[]

**Character Select:**

**Select Gender- Male**

**Select Height-** **Very Short**

Whoa. Hold up. Are you sure you want to go that way?

**Select** **Build-**

No. Stop it. Are you SURE you want him to be short?

**What is wrong with being short-**

Nothing, really. It's just, these kids are gonna be in life-or-death junk, right? I said- I mean, _the author_ said that, I'm pretty sure.

**He did not say that-**

Well, not in so many words, but I think he meant... wait. Who cares? That wasn't even the point.

**Do you have something against short people-**

Do you have something against punctuation marks?

**Shut up-**

You can't end sentences with anything else, can you?

**Of course I can-**

Anyway, don't we want him to be athletic? Tall? Strong, so he can fight baddies and save the day and all that?

**Yes, you have convinced me-**

Really? Wow, that was easy.

**Select Height- Extremely Short**

...You suck, Player 1.

**Select Build- Fat**

Oh, come on. That's just offensive.

**Select Build- Portly**

What is wrong with you?

**Select Build- Unathletic**

So, you actually hate me.

**Select Build- Obtuse**

Whatever. Let's just move on.

**Select Hair- Black, Short, Spiky, Combed Every Other Morning**

That was incredibly detailed.

**Thank You-**

Not a compliment.

**Select Accessories- Dark Green Beanie**

Finally, something normal.

**Select Clothing- Black T-shirt, Lemon Logo**

...What.

**Select Clothing- Tie Dye Pants**

COME ON. That isn't even a thing.

**Select Shoes- Orange Crocs**

It's like you want him to get beat up.

**Select Shoes- Orange Crocs That Light Up**

Every day. Constantly. The beating up will never stop.

**Select Personality-**

HAH! You don't get to do that!

**Select Interests-**

You're getting colder. See, Personality and Interests directly affect the plot. That's my gig, not yours.

**What else is there to select-**

Well, I guess you still need a name. And believe me when I say I am bracing for the worst.

**Select Name- Jaxton Constantine**

I lied. I get the name too. This guy's Rick Palmer.

**That name isn't interesting or even good-**

Shut up. It's a rad name.

**Select Weaknesses- Saying 'rad' like it's still a thing**

You just made up a category. You're disqualified. You're banned from this game.

**Select Object to Suck- My**

INTERRUPTION! Cool down, there, bro; there's kids reading this. Watching this. Playing this? I don't even freaking know.

**Let's just start the game-**

That idea is rad.

[]

**Your name is RICK PALMER, and you are not having a VERY GOOD DAY.**

You spin in your computer chair for a while, trying to avoid looking at the screen of your laptop. This SPINNING gives you a CONVENIENT yet NAUSEATING overview of your room.

Every so often, you are DETERMINED to PAINT your BEDROOM. However, you can't seem to decide on any one COLOR, so your humble abode is more often than not GRACED with a MYRIAD of HUES. The layers are PEELING, and at one point your UNCLE tried to wallpaper the place, but your INCESSANT PAINTING rendered the striped pattern just another sacrifice to the ALL-CONSUMING WALL.

You decide it's getting a bit annoying to think in caps. You stop.

The room itself reflects your other interests- namely, that you don't appear to have any. Besides the can of Atypical Potion in your hand, there's almost nothing in your room other than your computer. Well, that and the piles of dirty clothes heaped everywhere.

Your true interests are more digital in nature. Your laptop contains the remnants of numerous failed and successful experiments; you've tried your hand at writing, animating, and even song mixing.

You're not quite sure that 'song mixing' is the right name for it. This reinforces your belief that you are, in fact, not very good at it.

You take a swig of the Atypical Potion. It is, of course, delicious. You would never admit it, though- it would look like you were trying way too hard to impress a certain family member.

With a sigh, you turn back to your laptop. The reason your Day hasn't been Very Good is that your friends aren't online. You've been pestering them for a while now, but the only person to respond has been... well... strange.

Oh, look. What a surprise.

**- magnum0piate [M0] began pestering himalayanHangover [HH] at 12:28-**

M0: Hey

M0: Hey Rick

You have no idea how this troll learned your real name. Just another drop of weird in the bucket of crazy for this guy. Or girl, you suppose.

M0: I know you're there, Rick

M0: and I have a SURPRISE for you

For some reason, you suspect that it's a guy.

HH: ?Why do you keep bugging me

HH: ?What did I ever do to you

M0: Calm down SPAZ

M0: I just want to show you this DELIGHTFUL and ENTERTAINING VIDEO

M0: You will LOVE and ADORE it

HH: .Yeah, no thanks

HH: ,I make it a rule not to take candy, advice, or bullcrap from strangers

HH: .So I'm definitely not gonna look at your twisted porn or whatever

M0: I am HURT and OFFENDED by this ACCUSATION

M0: I assure you, this is not PORN or any other such DISGUSTING MATERIAL

M0: It is simply a BEAUTIFUL ART

M0: AN ART

HH: ;What

M0: AN BEAUTIFUL ART

HH: .Stop doing that

The link to the video pops up on your screen. You frown. In spite of your well-worded dismissal, you are quite curious.

M0: How do you feel

M0: About SNAKES

HH: ?If I watch the video, will you stop bugging me

M0: Yessss

M0: YESSSS

HH: .I get it

M0: IT IS LIKE A SNAKE

HH: .Yeah, I got that

M0: HISSSS

HH: .Just stop it

With a sigh, you click on the link. The video begins, and the-

Oh.

HH: .Dude

Oh, dear.

HH: ?!What is wrong with you

You have never seen anything quite like this in your life.

HH: ?Why in God's name would you send that to me

M0: Did you like it

HH: !If your goal was to have me hate you, then you got it

HH: ?Why would you even do something like this

M0: Hahaha

M0: I think I'll be GOING now

HH: ?!What

M0: But don't worry, I'll be around most NIGHTS

M0: I've always enjoyed NIGHTS

**- magnum0piate [M0] ceased pestering himalayanHangover [HH] at 12:33-**

Just like that. You're actually shaking.

Your name is Rick Palmer, and you need to talk to someone.

**Star: Hate your Name**


End file.
